Cryptocurrency in Music – a Toxic Relationship

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Cryptocurrency is not usually a topic songwriters tend to linger on, but this hasn’t stopped some ‘musicians’ treating us to some crypto-related masterpieces in 2018. From ‘Hodl Gang’ to ‘Crypto Crypto’, 2018 could be seen as the year that music decoupled from its senses and touched on the blockchain revolution for inspiration. And so, in the name of entertainment, BitStarz has suffered through 2018’s musical crypto offerings to bring you the year’s top (or bottom) crypto-related tracks.

Lil Windex – Bitcoin Ca$h

Released in March, when the Bitcoin Cash camp was full of love, rainbows, and cordiality and the coin was valued at over $1,000, Lil Windex popped up with his dreadlocks and wraparound shades to bring us ‘Bitcoin Ca$h’, a subtle reminder of just how much wealth the coin had generated in its short life.

The tongue-in-cheek song, which currently has over a million views, features Lil Windex, named after the brand of window cleaning spray, boasting about how he has made millions of dollars from the now forked cryptocurrency. In the song, Lil Windex visits a Bitcoin Cash pop-up shop and gets the concept of blockchain broken down to him in two lines:

The miners make money by taking a fee every time a transaction is made and complete and they work every minute and day of the week. A guy named Satoshi created this all, he’s the mastermind of it, the brain and the balls.

There’s lots more to say of course, but, at the very least, this is accurate. At the end of the song, Lil Windex addresses the Bitcoin core “crew”, calling them “a bunch of names” and telling them that Bitcoin Cash will “thrive for success” and is “defined as the best”. Well produced, factually accurate (in places) and deliberately over the top, this is actually quite a fun poke at the Bitcoin Cash project.

How To Rap Drew & Ian Balina – Moon Lambo

Released in June, with the ICO bubble about to burst, this song, penned by ICO guru Ian Balina and rap coach Drew, plays on the moon/lambo meme that had been doing the rounds during the 2017/18 bull run. The undeniably slick production and performance from Drew means that the song ends up taking itself too seriously, losing any sense of parody it is, we assume, supposed to have.

How, or why, the song was stretched to fill over four and a half minutes is baffling – it could be done in ninety seconds and we’d all be happier. The video features Drew and Balina on a cliff top (and sometimes on the moon) getting in and out of a Lamborghini, with Drew repeating the same two-line chorus over and over again, occasionally throwing in a verse, while Balina makes strange shapes in the air with his hands and generally looks like a dad dancing at a wedding. At one point he is even standing on the hundred-thousand-dollar car in his workman’s boots. He mouths some lyrics now and again, but is not allowed to rap. Very, very awkward overall.

Soulja Boy – Bitcoin

Released after Bitcoin had spent ten months crashing in price, Soulja Boy decided that October was the time to use the cryptocurrency to remind us that he was still a thing. Having debuted (and some would say peaked) in 2007, it seemed like nothing more than a cynical attempt to get headlines, which is reflected in the lyrics. If you can make it through the whole thing, you deserve a medal.

This truly awful publicity shot was, you would assume, concocted off the back of an attempt to gain favor with the crypto community, and maybe even rack up some sales in the cryptocurrency. With lyrics such as “I got on a computer and bought a Bitcoin” and “Send it through the PayPal, or the cash app” you really have to hope he didn’t make a cent. There is no video to go with it and the backing track is as lazy as the lyrics, which are in turn as lazy as the performance. It may be Soulja Boy’s style, but he doesn’t do himself any favors, sounding like he just doesn’t care about the subject matter. Which, you assume, he doesn’t.

Will 2019 be Any Better?

With the bear market looking like it will occupy a fair amount of 2019, if not all of it, we can only hope that musicians will steer clear of using Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies as a subject matter. So in this case, yes, 2019 looks like being a far better year for the crypto/music relationship.