- JK Rowling asked Twitter to explain Bitcoin to her, but what she got was a cavalcade of misinformation, idiotic infighting, and childishness
- Bad explanations were combined with shitcoin shilling and arguments about which coins are the best
- Crypto Twitter had a chance to make a good impression on a big stage but, as usual, they embarrassed themselves
JK Rowling whacked the cryptocurrency hornets’ nest Friday and unleashed a torrent of immaturity that highlighted just how much the space needs to grow up if it is ever to be taken seriously. The Harry Potter author tweeted a simple question asking someone to explain Bitcoin to her and was clearly unprepared for the cavalcade of childish fighting and shitcoin shilling that she received in response, in a wasted opportunity that will only serve to exacerbate the image of cryptocurrency as a playground for degenerate and partisan idiots.
JK Rowling Unleashes the Crypto Twitter Beast
The JK Rowling Bitcoin shitshow began when the author asked a simple yet retrospectively dangerous question in reply to an innocuous post from a Coindesk reporter:
I don’t understand bitcoin. Please explain it to me.
— JK Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 15, 2020
Little did Rowling know that in asking this question she had unleashed a power too dark and powerful for even Lord Voldemort to consider using – the power of the crypto shill. Bitcoiners leapt at the chance to shill the coin and the concept of blockchain in the hope that they could add Rowling to the pantheon of celebrity Bitcoin owners, but often failed at the first hurdle, using confusing and at times downright wrong metaphors to describe it:
Imagine that something exists which doesn’t actually exist. That’s Bitcoin.
— Mike Howard (@ElPolloDiabloX) May 15, 2020
Old Fashioned is one of my favorite all time drinks…wish I had a proper masher at home.
Btw #Bitcoin is like fire insurance you’d buy for your home but instead of your home on fire it’s economic & government systems around the world.
— David Nage🎯 (@DavidJNage) May 15, 2020
Unsurprisingly Rowling was left more confused than enlightened by the barrage of nonsensical rhetoric and anti-bank sentiment, but very soon the tone shifted from admirable yet misjudged attempts at explaining Bitcoin to the relentless shilling of shitcoins.
Very soon, all kinds of crypto pond life, including Hex’s Richard Heart, BSV’s Calvin Ayre, and Tron’s Justin Sun, crept out from their damp, dark caves and flapped over to Rowling’s Twitter feed where they spat out the usual sales pitch for their particular shitcoin in the hopes of persuading her that they alone were worth listening to. Even Elon Musk had a go, saying that the actions of the US Treasury were making “Bitcoin Internet money look solid by comparison.”
Childish Bickering and Squabbling Exasperates Rowling
The addition of shitcoin shilling to the JK Rowling Bitcoin nightmare brought with it the usual childish bickering and squabbling that is usually confined within the walls of crypto Twitter, likely leaving the renowned author bewildered and potentially appalled at the spectacle. She must have felt like she had asked a neighbor for help and thousands of strangers from miles around smashed into her house and began fighting over each other to give her their version of the truth.
As Rowling went from confused to exasperated, the tone turned against her, with some misinterpreting her annoyance at the mushrooming playground fight she hadn’t asked for as annoyance that she didn’t own any Bitcoin herself, despite being worth some $1 billion.
The stupidity of the JK Rowling Bitcoin shitshow hit fever pitch when countless crypto Twitter ‘celebrities’ changed their profiles to Rowling’s and posted a variety of idiotic sentiments, from pretending to buy Bitcoin to simply insulting various individuals:
Thankfully some realized that what was going down wasn’t necessarily to the benefit of crypto’s image:
Rowling admitted defeat several times in an attempt to stem the tide of effluent still flowing her way, but this didn’t stop people trying, or protesting about the merits of the tokens they were seemingly wedded to. Eventually the author summed up the experience:
Rumbled. pic.twitter.com/zAkJy8aqsG
— JK Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 16, 2020
Well done crypto Twitter, you had a chance and you utterly, utterly ruined it. Good work.
