- The Bitcoin halving is a tradition that dates back hundreds of years
- Countries’ celebrations have been impacted by the coronavirus, but there’s still lots going on
- Virtual celebrations mean everyone can join in!
The Bitcoin halving is a global event dating back hundreds of years, with the day itself filled with time-honored traditions and celebrations worldwide. With many countries in lockdown due to coronavirus we look at how different countries would typically celebrate the Bitcoin halving and how they will do so this year.
North America
Bitcoin halving day is a day that traditionally sees Americans and Canadians put their differences aside and join each other on the border to sing, dance, and exchange halving-themed gifts. With both countries in lockdown however, such a gathering will be taking place through video messaging, although citizens on both sides of the border are being urged to send gifts to each other via the catapults that will be in place across the width of the border from tomorrow.
The inter-presidential cross dressing and tequila dinner at the White House will still take place however, this year featuring a live performance from ABBA.
UK
Due to coronavirus, the British halving celebrations will not see the traditional ransacking of the Prime Minister’s country home, Chequers, which has been torn down and rebuilt every four years as far back as the 1528 Bitcoin halving.
With citizens also confined to home, the British government is encouraging everyone to engage in a one-minute scream at 11pm, with prizes awarded for the most disturbing efforts. Some traditions will still take place however, such as the much celebrated event that sees prisoners and prison wardens swapping roles for the day. Officially known as ‘Swap Day’ to the general population, this joyous occasion is commonly referred to as ‘The Purge’ by prisoners.
Australia
With Australia being the home of Bitcoin’s acknowledged creator Craig Wright, Australians are naturally keen to celebrate the 2020 halving as volubly as possible. In honor of Wright’s achievements, children up and down the country will engage in a mass plagiarism of their favorite book before hiding behind a big cutout of Calvin Ayre while their parents throw perfectly reasonable questions at them.
Wright’s notorious courtroom victories that have cemented his position as Bitcoin’s creator will also be honored, but instead of the usual musical production based on Wright’s legal exploits, the Australian government has arranged for virtual courtrooms to be delivered to each household so they can recreate his many escapades for themselves.
North Korea
Kim Jong Un, fresh from his straightforward heart surgery, has promised that, despite the threat of coronavirus, he will honor the country’s tradition of opening up the borders to anyone and everyone who wants to enjoy the halving in traditional North Korean fashion.
North Korea’s halving celebrations are famous around the world, with staple events such as nationwide starvation, state sponsored cybercrime, and brutal penal servitude particular favorites. The draw for the destination of the Bitcoin Halving Ballistic Missile will take place the day before as always, with South Korea being the likely destination once again.
The honor of making this year’s draw, which carries with it a prize of $500,000 and the chance to lead the country until the next halving, has been awarded to a certain Kim Jong Un of Pyongyang. This represents the second time Mr Un has been afforded such a coveted honor.
Ireland
They’ll just get drunk again probably.
Enjoy the Halving, Wherever You Are
We hope you enjoyed this round up of Bitcoin halving celebrations across the world. Wherever you are when Bitcoin splits in two and falls into the ocean, we hope you enjoy it and observe it from a safe distance wearing the government approved safety equipment.
